So. It's almostly December. Month of Sinterklaas, Christmas, Santa Claus and all the other nonsense. And ofcourse; 31th of december and 1 januar. Start of the new year. Plans to do it better next year. 'Yehh.. I will be nicer this year. And erh.. I will do it better at school. And yeah.' Hahah, sure! Why would you? A new year doesn't change your life.
But first, Sinterklaas, this Wednesday. Presents, presents, presents! xD Tomorrow we're going to buy the Sinterklaaspresents. What do I want? Well.. Vans shoes! And erh.. clothing? I don't know.. Oh, and saturday [not tomorrow! Nextweek] we'll celebrate Sinterklaas with friends. Making surprises, poems and stuff. I'm looking forward to it. Some people were angry 'cuz they couldn't joing us, but hmmkay. Hmm.
You know.. actually.. I hate things like Sinterklaas and Christmas. It's so.. how do you say it? You háve to be nice and stuff at such days. You have to act like you feel happy. Like it's fun and stuff. But I can't. I can't remember any Sinterklaas or Christmas I felt happy. Well, yes I can. But that was when I was a little child. When I didn't worry about stupid things. I didn't worry about anything when I was young. But now I do. And so I can't be happy at such days. I always think of the negative things, then. Everything how it cóuld have been. How I wish it would be. How it never will be. Hmm. I could join Christmas only when there's snow. If there ain't, I guess it will be as awfull as every year. I'll shut my mouth about New Year. There's fucking no possibility that I'll enjoy that. That's one of the days/moments I hate most. 'Happy new year '. Well, shut the fuck off. Every year is the same. Blegh!
Hmm. Okay, maybe I'm thinking too negative again. It can be fun. At least Sinterklaas. Not with my family, I guess that will be a disaster once again, but with my friends. I have to enjoy it. Or else I'll just pretend to.
And if I can't enjoy anything, I'll just think of the presents, the Christmastree and the way it was. Before I grew up. Before I started worrying about everything. And hope I can have just a few days not worrying about stupid things.

Conclusion;
Once again I wish I was a child again. Not worrying about everything and everyone.

And still I feel so damn fucking lonely.